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| Everything seems to be evening out. The church politics are over. I was offered the position as Education Coordinator at my church. I would oversee all of the Sunday School classes, nursery through adult. All that happened at the meeting the other night was I was asked about the Wiccan comment and my beliefs and asked to be careful about what I say around children who may misunderstand my intentions. Funny, the child in question is old enough to ask her own questions and defend herself. She's older than I am. Whatever. I don't think this changed anyone's view of me. On the flip side, the person I'm to replace was in attendance on Sunday to cover our elementary school class and she had in her class the 2 children too old for the nursery that their mom kept their b/c she runs it. Everyone else got straightened out. . I just hope they realize it's a little late for that. And another up swing is that the 2 adult classes will be combining, making only one schedule for me to check on. . . not that I'd have to do that. It will give me the opportunity to see how the older adult sunday school class works. The first sunday of each month we'll all follow their lessons. The other 3 or 4 sundays we'll do friendship curriculum that I'm used to. Yay! Peace on the church front. My God Provides | | |
| I'm really anxious right now. I'm supposed to be leaving any minute for church. I'm supposed to be meeting with my pastor before choir practice. I'm not sure his full intentions but I do know I will not be intimidated. I know my capablities. I know the downfalls of others. I know the potential I bring to my church. I just don't know how to live up to what is expected namely b/c I don't know what they truly expect. I do know I'll be there long after he (my pastor) is gone. I love my church. I love the people there like family. If you can't properly represent our family, can't properly treat our family, maybe you should go. If you must stay, remain quietly so we can carry on. God Guides Me (through the troubled waters in His own house) | | |
| So I just spent a couple minutes unsubscribing everyone, not that anyone is still active. I also hyped up all my security. No one should be able to read the old entries now. I want to start fresh. I have an adult life now and I don't want that life interferring. I just need to remind myself of what a friend told me yesterday. I can't remember enough for an exact quote. . .maybe I can. "Do you really think you're ready to be in another relationship?" and I answered honestly no. It hurts to say I can't be friends with so many people b/c of the relationships I've broken with them. Too many former friends have drifted apart or chosen sides b/c of what I've done. I'm done. If you want to be a friend. . . . I'm looking for those. Safe unbiased friends. With no alterior motives. Someone to chat or go out with. . . Someone to update on the highlights of each others lives. It's going to be hard but I have to cut sex out. I'm going to do it so that I'm sure I'm strong and stable enough to enter another relationship when I actually do. There is no reason for me to be dependent on anyone else. I need to convey that through my actions. That might mean I disappear. It won't be too difficult to do b/c I'm going to get so busy soon. I'll make it. I'll come out stronger. | | |
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